Premium Resource - Keep this on your fridge as a gentle reminder during challenging moments. These reframes help build connection instead of conflict.
Instead Of... Try...
Neurodiversity-affirming reframes for everyday moments
"Calm down!"
"I'm here. Let's breathe together."
💡Commands don't help dysregulation.
"Just try harder"
"What would make this easier?"
💡They're already trying their best.
"Why did you do that?"
"That was hard. What happened?"
💡Curiosity over blame works better.
"Stop crying"
"I can see you're upset. I'm here."
💡Emotions need to be felt, not suppressed.
"You know better"
"Let's figure this out together"
💡Knowing ≠doing in the moment.
"Not now, I'm busy"
"I'll be with you in 5 minutes"
💡Specific timelines reduce anxiety.
"You're being dramatic"
"This feels really big right now"
💡Validate their real experience.
"Because I said so"
"Here's why..."
💡ND brains need the 'why'.
"You're not listening"
"Can you show me you heard?"
💡Processing delays ≠ignoring.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Something seems off. Can I help?"
💡Nothing is 'wrong' with them.
"Look at me when I talk"
"I know you're listening"
💡Eye contact can be hard & painful.
"Use your words"
"Take your time" or offer choices
💡Speech is hard when overwhelmed.
Connection before correction. Regulation before expectation.
You won't get it right every time — and that's okay. Repair matters more than perfection.
For neurodivergent families — from one to another 💜
theneurodiversebrain.com