Parent Training
Parent-mediated approaches have some of the strongest evidence for supporting neurodivergent children. You are your child's most important intervention.
You are with your child most
Therapists see your child for hours. You see them for thousands of hours. Small changes in your approach compound enormously.
Learning happens in real life
Skills learned with a therapist may not transfer home. Parent-mediated approaches embed learning in daily life.
Relationship is the intervention
The parent-child relationship is the most powerful intervention for emotional development and regulation.
You can respond in the moment
The best teaching happens in real moments. You can scaffold learning as situations arise.
Sustainable over time
Therapy blocks end. Your relationship and understanding continue for life.
- Not blaming you for your child's difficulties
- Not suggesting you're a bad parent
- Not expecting you to be a therapist
- Not adding more pressure to an already hard situation
- Not one-size-fits-all advice
Evidence-based programmes
Live coaching via earpiece while you play with your child.
Focus: Positive attention, effective commands, consistent consequences.
Evidence: StrongGroup-based programme using video vignettes and practice.
Focus: Positive parenting, play, praise, reducing harsh discipline.
Evidence: StrongTiered system from light-touch to intensive support.
Focus: Self-regulation, positive relationships, reasonable expectations.
Evidence: StrongParent-mediated intervention focused on play and joint engagement.
Focus: Joint attention, play, symbolic communication.
Evidence: StrongVideo feedback with parent to enhance communication.
Focus: Following child's lead, communication, synchrony.
Evidence: StrongApproach to emotional moments that builds regulation.
Focus: Validating emotions, labelling feelings, problem-solving.
Evidence: Moderate to StrongPrinciples:
- •You regulate yourself first - you can't pour from an empty cup
- •Stay calm and present during your child's big emotions
- •Your nervous system speaks to theirs
- •Don't match their escalation
- •Presence matters more than words
Practical strategies:
- Take deep breaths (out loud so they can see/hear)
- Lower your voice and slow your speech
- Get on their level physically
- Offer comfort without demanding they calm down
- Wait - don't rush to fix
Emotion coaching steps
Notice and tune in
Be aware of lower-intensity emotions before they escalate.
"Noticing your child is becoming frustrated, not just when they explode."
See it as an opportunity
Emotional moments are opportunities to connect and teach, not problems to fix.
""This is a chance to help them learn about frustration.""
Validate and label
Name the emotion. Show you understand.
""You're really frustrated. This is so hard.""
Set limits if needed
All feelings are valid. Not all behaviours are acceptable.
""I can see you're angry, but I can't let you hit.""
Problem-solve together
Once calm, work on what to do next time.
""What could you do when you feel that frustrated?""
Common pitfalls to avoid
Dismissing emotions
Looks like: "You're fine." "Don't be silly." "There's nothing to worry about."
Instead: Validate: "I can see you're worried. That makes sense."
Reasoning when dysregulated
Looks like: Explaining why they shouldn't feel that way while they're upset.
Instead: Wait until calm: Regulate first, reason second.
Matching escalation
Looks like: Your frustration rising to match theirs. Shouting back.
Instead: Stay calm: The calmer you stay, the faster they regulate.
Rushing to fix
Looks like: Immediately trying to solve the problem before acknowledging feelings.
Instead: Connect first: "I see you're upset. Tell me about it."
Punishment during distress
Looks like: Time-outs or consequences when child is dysregulated.
Instead: Safety and connection first. Address behaviour when calm.
Finding parent training
NHS/Local services
CAMHS may offer parenting programmes. Variable availability.
Local authority
Family support services, early help, children's centres.
Charities
NAS (autism), ADHD Foundation, local support groups often run courses.
Private
Clinical psychologists, family therapists. Ensure appropriate training.
Online/Self-directed
Triple P Online, books, courses. Lower cost but less tailored.
Relationship is the most powerful intervention. The quality of your relationship with your child - feeling safe, understood, and connected - is the foundation for everything else. No therapy can replace this.
Parent training isn't about doing more. Often it's about doing less, but differently. Small shifts in how you respond can make enormous differences.