School & Homework
Practical strategies for homework success, school communication, and supporting your child's learning without daily battles.
Homework requires planning, starting, sustaining attention, and completing - all executive functions that are challenging in ADHD and autism.
Children have often been working hard to cope all day at school. Homework asks for more when they're depleted.
Switching from "home mode" back to "school mode" is hard. Home should feel different from school.
Many neurodivergent children struggle with perfectionism and fear of failure, making starting difficult.
Remembering instructions, what was taught, and what to do simultaneously is challenging.
Home environment may have different sensory demands (distractions, siblings, noise).
Homework strategies that work
Same place each day reduces setup time and builds routine.
Face wall, clear desk, phone away, siblings occupied.
All materials in one place so no "I need..." interruptions.
Some children work better with background music, fidgets, or movement.
Same time each day removes negotiation about when.
Allow decompression time after school before homework begins.
10-15 minutes work, then 5 minute break. Pomodoro technique adapted for children.
Tackle challenging work when energy is highest, unless that causes refusal.
Write out everything that needs to be done so they can see the full picture.
"Do maths homework" becomes "Open book, read question 1, write answer..."
Cover up or put away everything except current task.
Visual progress is motivating. Let them physically tick or cross off.
Parent nearby (not hovering) doing their own quiet work.
Often just getting started is the hardest part. Read the first question together.
If writing is the barrier, write their dictated answers sometimes.
Focus on persistence and trying, not just correct answers.
Motivation strategies
Immediate rewards
Neurodivergent brains respond to immediate rewards. "When homework is done, you can..."
Choice within structure
"Do you want to start with maths or reading?" provides sense of control.
Connect to interests
If possible, relate homework to their special interests.
Make it game-like
Timers, challenges, points, levels - gamification works.
Celebrate completion
Mark the end of homework with something positive, even small.
What to say when...
“I can see homework feels hard right now. Let's just open the book together and see what the first question is.”
Reduce the ask to the smallest possible step.
“It sounds like this feels really hard. Let's figure out which part is tricky. Show me where you got stuck.”
Validate the feeling, then get specific about the problem.
“We're going to take a break. Homework will still be here when you're ready. Let's do something calm first.”
Prioritise regulation over homework completion.
“I notice you finished really fast. Let's check the first one together to make sure you understood.”
Check one together rather than making them redo everything.
Sometimes the homework battle isn't worth it. These signs suggest it's time to reconsider:
The cost may outweigh the benefit. Talk to school about reducing homework.
This suggests either inappropriate difficulty level or need for accommodations.
Homework isn't worth damaging your relationship. Seek alternative arrangements.
Mental health is more important than homework. Prioritise wellbeing.
Communicating with school
- Assume good intentions - teachers want to help
- Be specific about what works and doesn't work
- Focus on problem-solving, not blame
- Document everything in writing
- Follow up verbal conversations with email summary
- •Diagnosis and what it means for your child
- •What strategies work at home
- •Triggers and warning signs
- •Strengths to build on
- •What doesn't work (without dictating)
Homework accommodations to request
Reduced homework load
Quality over quantity. If they can demonstrate learning with fewer problems, why require more?
Extended deadlines
Allows for bad days and pacing that works for them.
Alternative formats
Verbal responses, typed instead of written, visual projects.
Homework diary/planner support
Teacher checks that homework is written down correctly.
Preview of homework
Knowing what's coming reduces anxiety.
No homework option
For some children, the battle isn't worth it. This is a valid conversation to have.
Exam and revision support
Start revision early
Little and often over weeks, not cramming. Neurodivergent brains need repetition.
Visual study aids
Mind maps, colour coding, diagrams, flashcards.
Active learning
Teaching someone else, making quizzes, moving while studying.
Practice under conditions
Practice with timer, practice the format of the exam.
Request access arrangements
Extra time, separate room, reader/scribe - your child may qualify.
Homework struggles are usually about executive function, not effort or intelligence. Your child isn't being lazy - their brain works differently. The goal is learning, not suffering.
- Homework difficulties usually reflect executive function challenges, not laziness
- The goal is learning, not suffering - accommodations are appropriate
- Relationship with your child matters more than any homework assignment
- Communication with school is partnership, not adversarial
- Some homework battles aren't worth fighting